In the past, her smile was the sun of my mornings. Its light could brighten my gray days. Now, her joyful face is but a faint shadow in my memory, buried deep in the bottomless abyss of time. Every time the girl faces a new day, only a sorrowful expression remains. Seeing her like that hurts my heart. I am the one who cast the despair upon her.
Though I always tried to be by her side during breaks, empty periods, or after school, bullying still occurred occasionally to Anggi. No matter what I did, the result was always the same. Slowly, the warm smile I once cherished in my memory faded, like ink on parchment long forgotten by time.
It wasn't until the third year that we were in the same class again, allowing me to stay by her side. But in the end, Anggi could barely make any friends because she was always with me.
I thought it was better that way, rather than seeing other girls bullying her again. Let me be the one to talk to her. As a result, I distanced myself from the other students.
When we reached high school, the things I feared never happened. Maybe because the students here were a bit more mature and behaved accordingly. The atmosphere in school also felt conducive with a positive aura.
Anggi regained the bright smile that had long been lost. She began to socialize with other girls. She no longer clung to me like a stamp; she could find her own happiness. Though there was a slight loneliness in my heart.
"Honestly, if you just put on a little makeup, you'd look really beautiful," I said softly, brushing her bangs to the side. "I might fall for you, Anggi!"
The moment I said that, Anggi froze. I realized I had said something I shouldn't have.
"W-W-What did you just say? D-Don't try to flirt with me, Dimas! You know I don't like being teased."
"Haha... I was just kidding, don't be mad!"
Every time I accidentally complimented her, Anggi would think I was joking, and I'd always laugh afterward. Yes, this was the usual routine whenever we spoke.
I always drew a line between my relationship with Anggi. Although I wanted something more, I had to settle with the way things were. I was afraid that if I confessed my feelings to her, she would only pull away even more.
Because I knew, what she needed right now wasn't a romantic relationship between a woman and a man, but someone to support her. Hoping that the trauma of her past would slowly fade, allowing her emotions to stabilize.
Just when I thought our relationship would remain like this forever, an unimaginable, magical event happened. When we, along with some of our club friends, were suddenly thrust into an unknown world.
What shocked me the most was that the person I cared about most had transformed into someone I could no longer recognize.
No longer were the dark eyes hidden behind thin eyelids. No longer were the thin lips that always held a bright morning smile. Nor the familiar voice that had been music to my ears for years.
Yes, Anggi had changed completely from what I once remembered, to the point where I could now consider her a completely different person.
I was furious with her. How dare she impersonate someone I loved so deeply and deceive me.
"That scar," said the strange girl with long ears, pointing to my forehead. "You got it when you fell from the tree behind the school when we were in sixth grade."
I froze. Besides Anggi and me, no one else knew the story behind the scar on my forehead. I had even lied to my parents, telling them I had accidentally slipped and hit a wall.
At that moment, I wasn't fully convinced that the Elf girl in front of me was Anggi. But as time went on, I began to realize how many similarities there were between her and the Anggi I knew. Of course, besides her appearance, which was vastly different.
I realized that the nature of the Elf girl and Anggi shared many similarities. They both had soft hearts and a tendency to smile easily. Every time this Elf girl smiled, her aura always reminded me of Anggi, who had always been in my memory. Even the words she chose and her clumsy habits, the way she ate just a little bit, and most of all... the annoyed look on her face whenever we had a disagreement.
The sharp gaze and puffed cheeks were truly in sync with Anggi in my memory. All these similarities led me to conclude that the Elf girl who was always with me now was indeed the real Anggi.
Time passed, and before I knew it, we had been living in this world for a year. My days with Anggi, who had now become an Elvian girl, continued. Along with the growing feelings I had in my heart.
The affection I held for her grew stronger until it reached a point where I could hardly contain it anymore. I wanted to confess the turmoil that made my chest tight, but I hesitated. I had never been clear about my attraction to her. If I suddenly confessed my feelings, I feared Anggi might think I was only interested in her because of her now stunning appearance. The truth was, I had always harbored feelings for her from the very beginning.
"What are you staring at? Is something wrong with my face?" Anggi teased when she caught me staring at her face.
"Hah, w-who's looking at you, fool? I was looking at Shella over there," I stammered, pointing randomly to Shella at the far end of the clinic room. Fortunately, the room was large enough, so Shella couldn't hear what I was quietly whispering.
"Why are you looking at her like that?"
I was once again lost in the mesmerizing charm that captivated my eyes, staring at the Elvian girl before me. "Well, you know. She's truly enchanting. Her heart is so gentle, and her smile always warms those around her. I'll never forget the way she smiles so happily."
All the praise I offered was true, with one condition: to replace the word 'She' with 'You.'
I didn't expect all those distractions to lead to an unnecessary misunderstanding.
The Elvian girl in front of me then smirked, turned her back, and walked away with a slight skip in her step. "I'll tell Shella, then!"
No! Don't!
All those words were for you, not for anyone else!
I immediately grabbed her wrist, causing her to stumble.
"Ouch, that hurts!"
"Please don't let her know. Let this be our little secret, okay?"
It was a moment I wanted to hold on to and revisit. Because it was a pivotal moment when a misunderstanding didn't need to escalate and complicate things further.
From that point on, Anggi began to play matchmaker between me and Shella. I often caught her trying to create opportunities for me and Shella to be together. I repeatedly found myself caught in her scenarios, and reluctantly, I played along. Every time there was even a slight chance, Anggi relentlessly pushed me closer to Shella.
And so, something I didn't want to happen, did. I wasn't one to be oblivious like the male leads in romance novels. I was fully aware of how Shella had started softening her tone when speaking with me, occasionally avoiding my gaze when we locked eyes, and giving me more attention, sometimes even making me meals she had cooked herself.
Ah, my senior has started to develop feelings for me.
To be honest, I felt guilty for playing with her feelings like this. I wanted to tell her that I had no romantic interest in her. But I feared it would hurt her, given the hopes she had placed in me. So, I decided to continue playing along, trying to gradually ease myself out of this, should my feelings for Shella wane.
Maybe it was cruel. But I had to do it, because I couldn't deny that I still needed her in our journey to find the Soul Crystal. None of us, except for Shella, had any knowledge of healing or herbal medicine. She was an expert apothecary and nurse. She could quickly assess a patient's condition and provide the right medicine in this world, which still lacked the technological advancements of my previous world.
Yes, I am a bastard.
I knew that eventually, Shella would get hurt by me.
But setting that aside, the thing I most didn't want to see was Anggi's sad face. Her dark past made me want to prevent that at all costs. Even if she got angry and disappointed with me later, so be it.
Our journey to find the Soul Crystal had begun. This was not going to be an easy path; we continuously encountered challenge after challenge, but thankfully we managed to overcome them. The most touching moment was when Anggi worked tirelessly to find materials to heal the poison in my body. Honestly, I was happy. To see the person I cared for so much doing everything she could to keep me alive.
But still, I hated one thing.
I hated myself for being so weak, unable to protect the one person I cared about most. Like an ant trapped in a sandstorm, waiting either to be swept away by the fierce wind or buried under layers of sand.
I was powerless in the fight against Strigifavorus.
I was powerless... to save Anggi who stood before me.
... who could only stand frozen, watching the girl's body engulfed by a blast of fire from the Legendary Monster.
*************************************
Darkness. That was all I could remember. Slowly, I heard the sounds of many footsteps passing by around me. My sense of smell caught the aroma of cakes and fresh coffee wafting through the air. The loud chatter of people mingled with several sounds that seemed familiar to me. The blinding light made me blink several times. I woke up with a heavy head, trying to hold my aching skull. The last memory I recalled was the blast of fire from Strigifavorus, coming at me swiftly.
Ah, yes. Had I died?
When I opened my eyes, I couldn't believe what I saw. Before me, instead of the vast Hanarusa forest, was a paved highway with five lanes on either side. The sounds of speeding vehicles, the noise of drilling and welding in the construction area in the middle of the road, the blaring music from electric guitars through large speakers, and the sound of wind as the MRT trains passed by silently—all of it blended together into the cacophony of a bustling city I recognized.
Still in disbelief at what I was seeing, I couldn't help but drop my chin, mouth agape like a giant cave. People passing by on the sidewalk gave me strange looks and whispered amongst themselves.
"Why is that person dressed so weird?"
"Cosplay?"
"Wow, that foreign girl is pretty too!"
"But why is she sleeping on the street? Is she a homeless person?"
"Maybe it's better to just avoid her!"
I received all kinds of responses from the passersby. I quickly stood up and tried to look at myself. I was still wearing the clothes I had bought in Glafelden—a tunic made of leather with slightly loose trousers. I was also wearing boots and a black hooded cloak that always clung to my body. My appearance was so contrasting to theirs, dressed in modern clothes like T-shirts, shirts, blouses, or suits. No doubt, I had become the subject of their entertainment. Some even took pictures of me with their phones.
I quickly stood up and observed my surroundings again, trying to confirm the reality of what I was seeing. Skyscrapers lined up, challenging the sky. The streets were filled with countless vehicles. People quickly crossed the street when the pedestrian light turned green. I touched the concrete fence behind me to make sure it was real.
Rough... and dirty.
This was really real.
"Am I back in my original world?"