Moving on from bullying Goku, Naruto focused on a more pressing matter.
Naruto [Emperor of Mankind]: Toriko, what's the status on the Gourmet Immortals?
Toriko [Gourmet Hunter]: Ah, about that…
Naruto already had a bad feeling.
Naruto [Emperor of Mankind]: Don't tell me…
Toriko [Gourmet Hunter]: Well, they won't meet with you, obviously.
Naruto [Emperor of Mankind]: Obviously.
Toriko [Gourmet Hunter]: Because you're not a gourmet chef, and they think you don't appreciate food properly.
Naruto [Emperor of Mankind]: …
Luffy [Future Pirate King]: That's messed up!
Issei [Dragon King]: Wait, wait. So they won't help us against the cosmic brain-sucking aliens just because Naruto isn't a five-star chef?
Toriko [Gourmet Hunter]: Pretty much. If you can't prepare a meal worthy of a celestial feast, you're beneath their notice.
Goku [Monkey King]: LOL, Naruto got rejected for not knowing how to cook. I'm dead.
Naruto [Emperor of Mankind]: Goku, shut the hell up before I send you to a dimension where your only food source is vegetables.
Goku [Monkey King]: I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY!
Ichigo [Strawberry Slayer]: So what's the alternative?
Toriko [Gourmet Hunter]: Well, I've been trying to get them to listen to me, but they don't really take me seriously either. I mean, I'm strong, but compared to them? They eat entire galaxies as appetizers.
Naruto [Emperor of Mankind]: Right… They're literally on a different scale. Which is why we NEED them to help deal with the higher-dimensional Otsutsuki threats.
Toriko [Gourmet Hunter]: Yeah, I get it. So I started a new plan—
Batman [Dark Knight]: Why do I feel like this is going to be the dumbest thing I've heard all day?
Toriko [Gourmet Hunter]: I challenged them to an EATING CONTEST.
The chat went completely silent.
Luffy [Future Pirate King]: HOLY SHIT, YOU'RE A GENIUS.
Naruto [Emperor of Mankind]: Toriko, WHAT?!
Issei [Dragon King]: This might be the greatest plan I've ever heard. How's it going?!
Toriko [Gourmet Hunter]: It's going okay! They acknowledged me after I ate a planetary-sized dish in one sitting. I got past the first round, but now I have to eat an entire cosmic buffet of star meat, black hole soup, and nebula sushi before they'll even consider talking to us.
Ichigo [Strawberry Slayer]: Toriko… how are you not dead?
Toriko [Gourmet Hunter]: Because I'm BUILT DIFFERENT!
Luffy [Future Pirate King]: I wanna join!
Toriko [Gourmet Hunter]: Come to my world, we'll tag team!
Naruto [Emperor of Mankind]: No. Luffy, stay in your world. I don't need two idiots eating reality itself.
Luffy [Future Pirate King]: Aww…
Shirou [Faker]: You know… I could make a legendary dish for you to offer them instead of this madness.
Toriko [Gourmet Hunter]: Nah, too late, I'm committed. If I win, the Gourmet Immortals have to acknowledge me and hear me out about the Otsutsuki threat.
Batman [Dark Knight]: …I genuinely don't understand how you people function.
Goku [Monkey King]: I mean, he has a point. If you can't beat them in strength, beat them in their own game. That's what I did with Beerus!
Naruto [Emperor of Mankind]: You mean by feeding him delicious food until he decided not to destroy Earth?
Goku [Monkey King]: Yup!
Naruto [Emperor of Mankind]: …I hate that this is a viable strategy.
Death [Endless Aspect]: Oh, I love this. Keep going, Toriko! I'll even put a cosmic bet on you!
Wan Ling [Heaven's Renegade]: …I'm leaving. I refuse to engage with this level of idiocy.
Naruto sighed and rubbed his temples again.
Toriko was out there battling immortallike entities… not with fists, not with weapons, but with his stomach. And somehow, it was actually working.
The fate of the multiverse might literally come down to whether or not Toriko could eat an entire cosmic buffet without dying.
…Naruto really needed a drink.
Naruto [Emperor of Mankind]: Okay, moving onto Batman. I hope you at least have some good news because I don't think the Gourmet Immortals are going to entertain us until Toriko learns to make a dish worthy of them. Did you at least get someone on the cosmic scale on our side? The Justice League and the other heroes are good, but that's not enough.
Batman [Dark Knight]: Define "good news."
Naruto [Emperor of Mankind]: The kind that doesn't make me want to bang my head against a wall.
Batman [Dark Knight]: Then no. I don't have good news.
Naruto exhaled sharply and pinched the bridge of his nose.
Ichigo [Strawberry Slayer]: C'mon, Bats, don't leave us hanging. Who rejected you this time?
Batman [Dark Knight]: The Spectre won't interfere unless the "balance" is tipped too far. Doctor Fate is monitoring the situation but doesn't want to act unless absolutely necessary. Phantom Stranger just stared at me and walked away like usual. The Endless? Most of them aren't interested. Destiny said we were already on the right path, but wouldn't elaborate. Dream doesn't care unless it affects the Dreaming. Despair actually laughed at me, which is disturbing for so many reasons. Desire offered to help but at a "price," which I obviously declined. And Delirium… Well, talking to her was like trying to reason with the Joker.
Naruto [Emperor of Mankind]: …So you're telling me that the cosmic hierarchy of your universe is full of lazy, unhelpful assholes?
Batman [Dark Knight]: Yes.
Issei [Dragon King]: Damn, even the literal immortal-tier entities don't wanna do anything. You'd think they'd care if the whole multiverse was in danger.
Luffy [Future Pirate King]: Maybe they're just scared?
Batman [Dark Knight]: It's not fear. It's arrogance. They think they're above all this. Even the Guardians of the Universe refuse to act directly. The Otsutsuki aren't a "cosmic-scale" problem to them yet.
Naruto [Emperor of Mankind]: Oh, wonderful. They're gonna sit on their cosmic asses and wait until it's too late.
Batman [Dark Knight]: Exactly.
Ichigo [Strawberry Slayer]: Man, you must've had the worst time recruiting these people.
Batman [Dark Knight]: You have no idea. And that's not even the worst part.
Naruto [Emperor of Mankind]: I swear to ramen, Bruce, if you drop another headache on me—
Batman [Dark Knight]: Darkseid knows.
A long pause followed.
Naruto [Emperor of Mankind]: …Knows what, exactly?
Batman [Dark Knight]: About the Otsutsuki. About what we're planning. And he's interested.
The chat exploded.
Ichigo [Strawberry Slayer]: OH HELL NO.
Issei [Dragon King]: WHY IS HE INTERESTED?!
Goku [Monkey King]: Ooooh, does that mean I get to fight him?!
Naruto [Emperor of Mankind]: GOKU, SHUT UP. BATMAN, EXPLAIN. NOW.
Batman [Dark Knight]: Darkseid sees the Otsutsuki as competition. He's intrigued by their higher-dimensional abilities and their parasitic nature. If they truly consume civilizations and worlds to evolve, then they could be considered a rival to Apokolips. And Darkseid doesn't like rivals.
Naruto [Emperor of Mankind]: So does that mean he'll help us or kill us?
Batman [Dark Knight]: …Yes.
Luffy [Future Pirate King]: That doesn't answer anything!
Batman [Dark Knight]: Because it's Darkseid. He doesn't do "alliances." He does "temporary interests." Right now, he's curious about the Otsutsuki. If they become a direct threat to Apokolips, he'll annihilate them. But if he finds a way to control them…
Naruto [Emperor of Mankind]: He'll use them instead.
Batman [Dark Knight]: Exactly.
Naruto sighed as he reviewed everything Batman had said. The Otsutsuki King was a being beyond all others—a supreme existence above even Darkseid and the immortal entities from different universes. He had no equal in raw power, no one who could match him blow for blow.
Even Naruto himself, despite his immortallike status, had to tread carefully. He had faced Darkseid's clones countless times, had erased many of them from existence. Batman, too, after ascending to a cosmic force, had purged much of Darkseid's influence from the mortal realm. And yet, Darkseid himself still endured—watching, waiting, plotting.
And that was the problem. Darkseid wasn't an ally. He was the antithesis of everything Naruto stood for. Naruto was the beacon of hope, a force of balance in the multiverse. Darkseid was the embodiment of domination, of absolute evil.
But that didn't mean Naruto couldn't use him.
As much as Naruto despised the idea, using his enemies against each other was the only way to lessen the burden on his forces. The Otsutsuki only targeted mortal worlds—they rarely fought cosmic beings because their goal was to consume living planets, not challenge immortals.
This was why beings like the Endless, the Guardians, and even the Celestials didn't care. The Otsutsuki weren't a threat to them.
But Darkseid? Darkseid was different.
If Darkseid believed the Otsutsuki posed a threat to his domain, he would act. If he believed the Otsutsuki were competition, he would want them destroyed.
And Naruto could use that.
Ichigo [Strawberry Slayer]: So what's the plan? We're just gonna wait for the big bads to fight each other?
Naruto [Emperor of Mankind]: No, we push them into fighting. If we manipulate things right, the Otsutsuki and Darkseid's forces will start targeting each other. That will buy us time to prepare.
Batman [Dark Knight]: I take it you have someone who can help push things in that direction?
Naruto [Emperor of Mankind]: Yeah… Raven.
A few members of the chat fell silent. They all knew what that meant.
Raven wasn't just another fighter. She was one of Naruto's wives. And she was also the daughter of Trigon, a being whose power rivaled some of the greatest entities in existence.
Goku [Monkey King]: Wait, Raven's your wife?
Batman [Dark Knight]: Raven is one of the few people strong enough to challenge cosmic forces. She's also one of the only ones who might be able to influence Darkseid's movements indirectly.
Naruto [Emperor of Mankind]: Exactly. We're still in the middle of dealing with Trigon, but if we can push him into the Otsutsuki's path… then we'll have another war brewing in the background.
Toriko [Gourmet Hunter]: So we're basically making all the strongest villains fight each other while we clean up?
Naruto [Emperor of Mankind]: It's called strategy.
Luffy [Future Pirate King]: Sounds boring, I'd rather just fight them myself!
Naruto [Emperor of Mankind]: That's why you're not in charge of the strategy, Luffy.
Batman [Dark Knight]: Doctor Fate is already on our side. With his help, we can subtly influence the cosmic scale without directly interfering. If we can make it look like the Otsutsuki are a threat to Apokolips, then Darkseid will act against them. If we can make Trigon's influence grow enough to annoy the Otsutsuki, then they'll act against him.
Issei [Dragon King]: And what do we do while they're all duking it out?
Naruto [Emperor of Mankind]: We take advantage of the chaos. While they're fighting, we find a way to reach the Otsutsuki King before he decides to move. Because once he does…
Izuku [One For All]: It's game over.
The chat fell into silence. They all knew what was at stake.
Naruto leaned back, staring up at the sky. He wasn't naïve enough to believe this plan would go perfectly. Darkseid was too intelligent. Trigon was too chaotic. And the Otsutsuki? They were too ruthless.
But he wasn't fighting alone.
He had Raven. He had Batman. He had Doctor Fate. He had the Justice League and the Titans.
And he had an entire multiverse worth of allies.
Now, it was just a matter of playing his cards right.