Peter knew this was going to be awkward, but he didn't expect the tension to be so thick it could be cut with a knife.
Jessica Jones, aka Wonder Woman, stood with her arms crossed, her stance rigid as she eyed Felicia Hardy like she was an intruder on sacred ground. Jessica wasn't the type to show her emotions outright, but the way her fingers were flexing showed that she was trying hard to keep her cool.
Felicia, on the other hand, was completely at ease, lounging casually against the counter of Peter's newly established base beneath Mt. Moses. She smirked, her usual playful glint in her eyes as she studied Jessica with amusement.
"So," Felicia drawled, breaking the silence first, "you're the first wife, huh?"
Jessica's eye twitched. "Excuse me?"
Peter sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Here we go.
Felicia chuckled, pushing herself off the counter and walking towards Jessica with that signature feline grace. "Oh, don't act so shocked. I can already tell you've got dibs on Spider-boy here. And now, here I come, stepping into the picture, and suddenly you're all stiff and grumpy." She tilted her head, eyes filled with mischief. "You worried I might steal your spot?"
Jessica scoffed, rolling her eyes. "As if. I don't need to fight for anything." She leaned slightly toward Peter, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Spidey and I already have a connection. I don't need to prance around and throw out seductive winks to get his attention."
Felicia gasped dramatically, placing a hand on her chest. "Oh no! Did you just insult my flirting skills? That hurts, Wonderwoman." She gave Peter a sidelong glance. "Tell me, Spider, am I really that bad?"
Peter raised his hands in surrender. "Nope, nope. Not getting involved. You two are more than capable of handling yourselves without me stepping in. I'm just here to bring the team together, not to referee a death match."
Jessica shot Felicia a glare before exhaling. "Fine. Whatever. Just don't think you're automatically part of this just because Peter has a soft spot for pretty thieves."
Felicia smirked. "Oh, I know I'm in. Peter already said yes, and let's be real, I'm way too good to pass up. Besides—" she leaned in slightly, her voice dropping into a purr, "—I think you and I are going to have so much fun working together."
Jessica gave her an unimpressed look. "Yeah, I'm thrilled. How about we have a spar to see how useful you are?"
Jessica cracked her knuckles, rolling her shoulders as she stepped into the sparring circle. "No weapons. Just hands." Her tone was firm, her eyes locked onto Felicia with laser focus.
Felicia smirked, stretching her arms above her head. "Aww, but my claws and whip are my charm points." She flicked her fingers, causing her retractable claws to slide out with a metallic shing! before slowly retracting them again.
"No weapons," Peter reminded her, crossing his arms.
Felicia pouted dramatically before giving in. "Fine, fine. Just my delicate hands, then."
Peter didn't miss the way she gave Jessica a once-over, clearly unimpressed by the challenge. He also didn't miss the way Jessica's jaw clenched at that.
This was about more than just sparring.
It was a statement.
Jessica wanted to put Felicia in her place. She was stronger, tougher, and she wanted Felicia to know it.
But Felicia? She wasn't backing down.
Peter sighed. Here we go…
Jessica moved first, stepping forward with a quick jab aimed at Felicia's shoulder, testing her reactions.
Felicia vanished.
Or at least, that's what it looked like. She ducked under the punch so fast it seemed effortless, her body moving fluidly like water. With a teasing smirk, she danced to the side, lightly tapping Jessica's shoulder. "Too slow."
Jessica frowned. She was strong, but Felicia was fast.
Jessica lunged, throwing a series of quick punches, trying to corner Felicia. But the Black Cat weaved between them like a shadow, her movements perfectly controlled. She didn't block or counter—she evaded, slipping past each attack with ease.
Peter watched closely, impressed. Jessica had the power, but Felicia had experience. She wasn't fighting like a reckless brawler—she was fighting like a pro who had been in real, high-stakes battles before.
Then Felicia struck.
Not hard—just enough to sting.
A sharp palm strike to Jessica's ribs.
A quick flick to the side of her knee, making her stance wobble.
A light tap under Jessica's chin, just to annoy her.
Jessica growled, trying to grab her—but Felicia spun out of her grip, flipping over Jessica's back with acrobatic perfection.
"Having fun yet?" Felicia purred from behind her.
Jessica whipped around, scowling. "Stop playing around and fight me!"
Felicia's smirk widened. "Oh, honey, this is me fighting."
Jessica rushed her again, aiming for a grappling move—if she could just grab Felicia, it would be over. But Felicia anticipated it, ducking under Jessica's arms and smoothly twisting her momentum, using Jessica's own strength against her.
With a graceful sweep of her leg, Felicia knocked Jessica's foot out from under her.
Jessica stumbled—and before she could recover, Felicia pounced, pinning her down by straddling her waist and pressing a finger under Jessica's chin.
"Pinned ya~" she sang, smirking down at her.
Jessica froze.
Peter froze.
The tension in the room was insane.
Jessica glared, her pride bruised more than anything else. "…Get off me."
Felicia chuckled, standing up and offering her hand. "Don't feel bad. You're strong, but strength alone doesn't win fights."
Jessica ignored the hand, getting up on her own. "Tch."
Peter cleared his throat. "Well. That was… informative."
Felicia winked at him. "See, Spidey? I told you I'd be a good addition."
Jessica crossed her arms, clearly frustrated but also begrudgingly impressed. "You're not bad."
Felicia placed a hand over her heart. "Aww, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."
Peter sighed. This is gonna be a long ride…
Peter sat on the rooftop of his base, staring up at the night sky, munching on a protein bar. His mind, however, was not focused on crime-fighting, new gadgets, or even how to improve his training.
No.
His brain was stuck on something way more dangerous.
Jessica. Gwen. Felicia.
And the very real possibility that all three of them liked him.
He rubbed his face. "Oh, no. Oh, no-no-no. This is bad."
At first, it had just been teasing. Jessica had always teased him—it was part of their friendship. Felicia was a flirt by nature, so he never thought much about it. And Gwen? Well, he and Gwen had only known each other for two weeks. That wasn't enough time for anything serious… right?
But now, when he replayed their actions, their words, and their looks—
"Oh, crap," he groaned.
Jessica had gotten way more territorial since Felicia showed up. She challenged her to a fight, for crying out loud! That wasn't just friendly competition—that was staking a claim.
Gwen had been extremely comfortable around him, asking him to spar, subtly complimenting his physique, and just finding excuses to spend more time with him.
Felicia? Oh, man. She had gone from playful flirting to serious physical contact. She enjoyed making him hot and bothered, and she knew exactly what she was doing.
This wasn't a love triangle.
This was a love minefield.
Peter shook his head, trying to think logically. "Okay. Maybe I'm overthinking this. Maybe they're just friendly."
His brain, however, immediately betrayed him by replaying:
Felicia's lips on his, her body pressing against him after every successful mission.
Jessica's annoyed glare whenever Felicia got too close.
Gwen's subtle touches, the way she laughed at his dumbest jokes, the way she looked at him when she thought he wasn't paying attention.
He groaned again. "Nope. Nope-nope-nope. I am not protagonist material for some romance drama. That is not happening."
But the evidence was stacking up.
And the worst part?
He had no idea what to do about it.
He rubbed his forehead before reaching out mentally. "Hey, Naruto. You got a moment?"
Naruto's voice echoed in his mind, calm yet curious. "What's up, Peter?"
Peter hesitated, then sighed. "…How do you know when someone actually likes you?"
Naruto chuckled. "That's easy. I can literally feel emotions, remember?"
Peter groaned. "Right. Super emperor powers."
"Mhm. So yeah, I already knew Jessica, Felicia, and Gwen all have feelings for you."
Peter sat up straight. "Wait, what?!"
"Peter, c'mon. It's not exactly subtle."
Peter rubbed his temples. "Oh, man."
"The real question isn't about them, Peter. It's about you."
Peter exhaled, staring at the city skyline. "That's the problem. I don't know who I actually like the most."
Naruto hummed in thought. "Well, you do have another option."
Peter frowned. "Which is?"
"Polygamy."
Peter nearly choked. "Excuse me?"
Naruto laughed. "Relax, kid. I'm serious. If you truly like more than one person, and if you're willing to love and take care of them equally, then it's a viable choice. In my empire, polygamous relationships are normal. People live in a utopia where fairness, love, and respect aren't issues. The key is honesty and commitment."
Peter's mind raced. "But… would that even work? I mean, that's not exactly common where I come from."
"It depends on what you want, Peter. If you genuinely care for more than one girl and want to be with them all, then it's better to be honest about it rather than leading them on. But if you think you only want one person, then you need to make that choice soon."
Peter chewed on Naruto's words for a moment before hesitantly asking, "…What about my counterpart?"
Silence.
For the first time, Naruto didn't immediately respond.
That silence stretched for a few seconds too long, making Peter uneasy.
"…Naruto?"
Finally, Naruto sighed. "The other Peter… always had one lover at a time. But he also played around with Felicia and some other girls."
Peter stiffened. "…So he cheated?"
"Not exactly. It was more about… escapism." Naruto's voice was contemplative. "The hero life is hard, Peter. The stress, the constant battles, the weight of responsibility—it gets to you. And sometimes, people look for relief in the wrong ways."
Peter swallowed. "…Did he regret it?"
"Yeah. Deep down, he did." Naruto's voice was firm. "Which is why I don't recommend going down that path. If you truly care about more than one person, then own up to it. Be honest and make it a real relationship. Because as heroes, we don't just fight villains—we also set examples for others."
Peter let out a slow breath.
He never wanted to be the guy who broke hearts. He never wanted to hurt the people who mattered to him.
"…So you're saying if I do like more than one of them, I should be upfront about it and make it real?"
"Exactly. No secrets, no playing around. If you go that route, then do it the right way."
Peter closed his eyes. His heart was still a mess, but at least now, he had a direction.
"…Thanks, Naruto."
Naruto chuckled. "Anytime."
"SPIDER-MAN'S HAREM OF CRIME?!"
By J. Jonah Jameson
Ladies and gentlemen, I have seen many things in my time as a journalist. I've witnessed corruption, crime, and the slow decay of moral values in our great city. But never—NEVER—have I seen such a blatant, unchecked display of moral degeneration as what is happening right before our very eyes!
First, we had to stomach the fact that Spider-Man—that masked menace—managed to recruit the so-called 'Wonder Woman' to his side. A woman with unnatural abilities, hidden behind a mask, prancing around in a costume ripped straight out of a comic book! And now, as if that wasn't bad enough, he's gone and added Black Cat to his little collection of costumed miscreants!
That's right, folks. Black Cat! A known thief! A criminal! And yet, suddenly, she's playing the role of a 'hero' just because Spider-Man says so? I think not!
What does this mean for our society? For our impressionable youth? Are we just accepting criminals now as long as they flirt with the right people?!
Because let me tell you what's happening here, people. This isn't heroism. This isn't justice. This is Spider-Man leading our society into moral decay! First, he surrounds himself with powerful women, claiming he's 'building a team.' But let's call it what it really is—A HAREM! Yes, you heard me! A harem! He's setting an example for young men everywhere that power and fame mean you can just collect women like trophies! What's next? Is he going to convince Elektra to join him? Maybe even Catwoman from Gotham?! Where does it end?
This is a dangerous precedent, people! We are seeing the corruption of heroism! We are seeing a man in a mask, unchecked, unmonitored, slowly warping the idea of justice into whatever he thinks it should be. First, he takes criminals under his wing. Next, he'll be telling us that the Kingpin is just 'misunderstood' and deserves a second chance!
This is why we need the Daily Bugle! To tell the TRUTH! While other news outlets sit quietly and let this menace rewrite the rules, I will not stand idly by! Spider-Man is dangerous. His actions are dangerous. And if we don't stop him now, we will soon find ourselves in a city where 'heroes' and 'villains' are just a matter of personal opinion!
WAKE UP, NEW YORK!