My Retirement Plan is Universal Conquest

So, you just finished managing a few multiverses, pruning timelines sharper than a Vorpal blade, and casually unmaking elder gods who got too loud. What's next? Retirement, obviously. Find a quiet, forgotten corner of reality, wipe the cosmic RAM mostly clean, and enjoy some peace. Maybe some tea. Meet Bob. His last job involved stress levels that would make a supernova look like a spa day. Now, he runs a perpetually failing antique shop in Oakhaven, a village located squarely in the armpit of Generic Fantasy World number 734-Gamma (or Aerthos, as the locals ridiculously call it). His goal: Absolute. Freaking. Quiet. THE PROBLEM: Aerthos is a festering boil of fantasy clichés. Hormonal heroes questing for glory (and frequently tripping over Bob's magically misplaced floorboards). Prophecies foretelling greatness (usually involving Bob, much to his disgust). Dungeons popping up like particularly aggressive weeds. And a Dark Lord whose grand ambitions Bob could literally sneeze out of existence, if he could only be bothered. Bob is powerful. Absurdly, reality-bendingly powerful. But using it is WORK. It attracts attention. It interrupts his tea. His 'solutions' often involve reality subtly folding like cheap origami out of sheer annoyance – a boastful knight mysteriously developing hiccups, an invading ogre suddenly finding its club has the structural integrity of wet tissue paper, a goblin horde finding the overpowering scent of compost far more appealing than pillaging. Join Bob as he navigates the treacherous waters of mundane life constantly interrupted by epic stupidity. Read his internal monologue roasting every fantasy trope imaginable. Witness the pinnacle of reluctant power, where universal conquest genuinely seems like a less annoying alternative to dealing with another prophecy, another adventurer, or another badly brewed cup of tea. If you like THESE THINGS: - Overpowered (but OVER IT) MCs - Snark levels exceeding critical mass - Ruthless dissection of fantasy/Isekai tropes - Comedy born from cosmic annoyance vs. mundane problems - Characters who just want everyone to LEAVE THEM ALONE Then pull up a wobbly stool (mind the dust) and watch Bob fail spectacularly at retiring.